Grantland (Rotary Park) – Mike “Photon” Bauer

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Backblast: June 3rd, 2026

AO: GrantLand – Rotary Park – Perrysburg, OH

PAX:
Photon – Q
Bobber
Coconut
Crawdad
Cybertruck
Guardian
Irish Hoss
Isosceles
Quick Draw
Stark
Ukulele

Workout: BURPwEEk Day 4 – The Slaughter

FNG’s: N/A

Mission and Principles:
F3: Fitness, Fellowship, Faith
Mission: To plant, grow and serve small workout groups for men for the invigoration of male community leadership.
The core principles of F3 are that it is always:
1. Free of charge
2. Open to all men
3. Held outdoors, rain or shine, heat or cold
4. Led by men who participate in the workout in a rotating fashion, with no training or certification necessary. You versus you. Modify or stop an exercise if you need to. The most important thing is that nobody gets hurt.
5. Ends with a Circle of Trust
Credo: Leave no man behind but leave no man where you find him

Warm-up: N/A

The “Thang”:

4 Cones were spread across the parking lot at 10, 20, and 30 meters. Beatdown was simple:
Perform 20 burpees.
Perform full suicide, touching the ground at every turnaround point.
Reduce burpee count by one.
Repeat until the round of 1 burpee is complete (including final suicide) or time expires.

Ended with:
Count-O-Rama: 11
Name-O-Rama

The Six – Stark

LDP3

Ball of Man

Spreadsheets from the Gloom: 55F and dry. I still think that this is the worst day of BURPwEEk due to there being zero rest for your cardiovascular system. The Eclipse and The Chain have long, muscle fatiguing burpees built in that slow you down a bit, The BURPH and The Gulley have rest time after each minute’s burpees, The Party has some slower MOTs built in, and The drEMOM only goes 27ish minutes long for fastholes. The Slaughter is non-stop for 38 straight minutes, migrating from endless burpees to endless suicides. I’d be interested to see Coconut’s heartrate data for this one.

That said, the adjustments this time around actually allowed for several guys to finish. Coconut and YHC finished with around 5 minutes to spare, and Stark, Ukulele, and possibly Irish Hoss finished up before time expired. So reducing the suicides from 7/14/21/28 to 10/20/30 and eliminating the warmup gave plenty of time for the fastholes to finish. Typically, that would suggest that there needs to be further modification to push guys a little harder, but not this time. There’s something special about watching the early finishers jump right back into the fold next to fellow PAX to help push them to the end. Keeping that within the framework of this beatdown seems like the right thing to do.

You can breathe a sigh of relief that the playlist hasn’t changed since the inaugural run. Unless you’re Guardian, in which case you can complain.

“Savior Breath” – Foo Fighters
“Breathing” – Yellowcard
“Machinehead” – Bush
“Breathe” – Nickelback
“Breathe” – The Prodigy
“War Within A Breath” – Rage Against The Machine
“Harder To Breathe” – Maroon 5
“Last Resort” – Papa Roach
“My Iron Lung” – Radiohead

This beatdown is awesomely terrible. And for as good as the beatdown itself was, the best part came after the COT finished. Iso went back into the slaughterhouse to finish his last few rounds. And that mindset pushed Bobber to do the same. The same Bobber who had just found F3 two days prior at another horrendous BURPwEEk beatdown at The Foundry. He stayed after to finish his last 5 rounds of work because he saw another HIM doing the same thing. And THAT…is the power of F3 Black Swamp.

An honor to lead this one.

Current cumulative BURPwEEk Burpee Totals:
• Day 1: The Wait: 070
• Day 1: The Eclipse: 110 (30 were dirty man-makers)
• Day 2: The drEMOM: 132 (or more depending on person)
• Day 3: The BURPH: 200
• Day 4: The Slaughter: 210

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