Grantland (Rotary Park) – Mike “Photon” Bauer

Backblast: December 10th, 2025

AO: GrantLand – Rotary Park – Perrysburg, OH

PAX:
Photon – Q
Big Spoon
Bourbon
Coconut
Deep Impact
Guardian
Isosceles
Rumor
Ukulele

Workout: The Who's Who of Q

FNG’s: N/A

Mission and Principles:
F3: Fitness, Fellowship, Faith
Mission: To plant, grow and serve small workout groups for men for the invigoration of male community leadership.
The core principles of F3 are that it is always:
1. Free of charge
2. Open to all men
3. Held outdoors, rain or shine, heat or cold
4. Led by men who participate in the workout in a rotating fashion, with no training or certification necessary. You versus you. Modify or stop an exercise if you need to. The most important thing is that nobody gets hurt.
5. Ends with a Circle of Trust
Credo: Leave no man behind but leave no man where you find him

Warm-up: See the “Thang”

The “Thang”:

Imagine taking the thing that each individual Q is most known for in their beatdowns and then mashing them up into one single beatdown. That’s what this was. It was kinda like a game of “Guess Who”, but for Qs in the Swamp. Could I have been nicer? Sure, but it wouldn’t have been nearly as fun.

1.) Beatdown started 1 minute late. Because Binford.
2.) Started with 8 IC Willy Mayes Spiderman Hayes. Because Carmen. And because I couldn’t remember how to do Mountain Man Poopers.
3.) Continued the stretches with a little stirring of the oatmeal, courtesy of Chef Mile High.
4.) Then we got the blood flowin’ and worked on our togetherness with some 21s…a Bourbon special. We failed once, performed the 5 penalty burpees, and nailed it the second go around.
5.) Rounded out the warm-up entries with a 5-count Squativator in honor of Fat Amy (While Lonzo apparently created them and does them occasionally, Fat Amy seems to bring them out far more often. That and Lonzo had another entry).
6.) 100 Curls. That’s the actual Lonzo entry.
7.) Followed up by a semblance of a structured beatdown: Moseyed to the parking lot and performed a 4-station EMOM rotation of Block Swings, Bent Over Rows, Supermans, and the human timer as an ode to Flo.
8.) Human timer was pushing YHC’s Civic across the parking lot, for the new guys to get a taste of a Huffy beatdown. Because when was the last time there was a Huffy beatdown?
9.) Moseyed over to the tennis courts for a 4-minute AMRAP of 7’s (in the nature of Huck’s 21s and 11s). We used the Huck standard: Merkins and Mt. Climbers on the end-lines with 2is1 lunges and squats in the middle. Though everything ended up being more like a skater because of the ice.
10.) Moseyed over to the playground and did a 1-minute AMRAP of CHIN-UPS. Because Spaulding is stupid.
11.) YHC had to leave his Q abruptly to take a dump. Apparently been spending too much time with Iso.
12.) Ran the exact same 4-minute AMRAP of 7’s as the first time, but in the grass. Goal was to complete more reps than the first round of 7’s. Stark loves that You VS. You thing.
13.) Moseyed back under the pavilion for some final stretching and breathing. We basically did whatever felt good…like Callahan usually tells us to do.
14.) Finished off the beatdown with a circle plank where we guessed the PAX associated with all 14 Q related activities, including this circle plank trivia itself. Thor would have been proud.

Important note: Throughout the entire beatdown, as the PAX explored the AO, YHC was wearing a backpack with a speaker in it a la Doubtfire. The speaker was playing songs who all ranked above 90 on the Yachtski scale for the Geppetto fans amongst us.

Ended with:
Count-O-Rama: 9
Name-O-Rama

The Six – Ukulele

LDP3

Ball of Man

Spreadsheets from the Gloom: Almost 40F, but windy. Nice layer of slushy ice made certain portions of this beatdown a bit challenging. I’m becoming a fan of these mash-ups. This doesn’t touch the 24hrs of F3 Beatdown one, but it was still fun to put together. Got some good laughs out of the veteran PAX, thould have been nice to have had a few more there, specifically those who were paid tribute to. What’s interesting is that there’s some good variety in there in terms of what elements different guys like to lean into on a consistent basis. Some of them suck (the interior of my elbows are still sore from the 100 straight curls), but they did make the beatdown interesting.

This may have been the easiest playlist I’ve ever put together for a beatdown, as the Yachtski scale has already ranked Geppetto’s favorite Yacht rock tunes by yacht-ness.

“What A Fool Believes” – The Doobie Brothers
“Heart To Heart” – Kenny Loggins
“I Keep Forgettin’ (Every Time You’re Near)” – Michael McDonald-ness
“Nothin’ You Can Do About It” – Airplay
“Rosanna” – Toto
“Human Nature” – Michael Jackson
“Girls Know How” – Al Jarreau
“Nobody’s Business” – Maxus
“Sailing” – Christopher Cross
“Lowdown” – Boz Scaggs

Was a pleasure to take a plagiarize a little bit from everyone on this one. Was actually quite a bit more difficult than I thought it would be.

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