The Battlefield (The Shops At Fallen Timbers) – Mike “Photon” Bauer

Backblast: June 7th, 2025

AO: The Battlefield – The Shops at Fallen Timbers – Maumee, OH

PAX:
Photon – Q
Carmen Sandiego
Cold Cut
Crawdad
Cybertruck
Doubtfire
Fancy Feast
Fanny Pack
Fat Amy
Footloose
Good Burger
Huckleberry
Irish Hoss
Manchester
Mercy
Norm
Runt
Shepherd
Spike
Stalker
Stark
Terminator
Ukulele
Yoshi

Workout: BURPwEEk Day 7 Part 2 – The Gulley

FNG’s: Fancy Feast

Mission and Principles:
F3: Fitness, Fellowship, Faith
Mission: To plant, grow and serve small workout groups for men for the invigoration of male community leadership.
The core principles of F3 are that it is always:
1. Free of charge
2. Open to all men
3. Held outdoors, rain or shine, heat or cold
4. Led by men who participate in the workout in a rotating fashion, with no training or certification necessary. You versus you. Modify or stop an exercise if you need to. The most important thing is that nobody gets hurt.
5. Ends with a Circle of Trust
Credo: Leave no man behind but leave no man where you find him

Warm-up: N/A

The “Thang”:

For each 1 minute round, perform X number of burpees and rest the remainder of the minute. Repeato for 51 rounds. Burpee counts by round are as follows:

Min. #Burpee
1 9
2 9
3 9
4 9
5 9
6 9
7 9
8 9
9 9
10 8
11 8
12 8
13 8
14 8
15 8
16 8
17 8
18 7
19 7
20 7
21 7
22 7
23 7
24 7
25 6
26 6
27 6
28 6
29 6
30 6
31 5
32 5
33 5
34 5
35 5
36 6
37 6
38 6
39 6
40 7
41 7
42 7
43 8
44 8
45 9
46 10
47 11
48 12
49 13
50 14
51 15

Ended with:
Count-O-Rama: 24
Name-O-Rama

The Six – Cybertruck

LDP3

Ball of Man

Spreadsheets from the Gloom: 60F, humid, and an air quality alert due to forest fires in Canada. Still, this wasn’t the hardest run of The Gulley. It was certainly harder than the March 25th run due to the air quality and the increased humidity, but for whatever reason, the inaugural run at The Fortress was next level hard. This run-through was awesome nonetheless. HUGE PAX presence with a number of guys who really didn’t want to be there. But they were there anyway, and they put in as much work as the next guy. And that’s what makes this beatdown special. It’s brutal; physically AND mentally. A lot of guys despise burpees. They’re hard. They exhaust you if you’re not prepared for them. But those same guys will still come out to do hundreds of them. Together.

Both Stark and Shepherd finished all of the reps this time around, Stark with two reps after the final buzzer and Shephered with about ten. Ukulele and I finished our 17 and 26 respectively after the COT. So this is doable. And that means that it needs to be harder. I personally think that guys can get in another 50 reps during the rest periods…one more per round. Because it’s not the first 45 rounds that get you, it’s those last 6. I think every round can be increased by 1 rep and a number of guys will legit push the 430 mark on a follow-up run. We may not have any finishers at the end, but the total rep counts will be higher.

The playlist for this beatdown is about as good as I can make it. Heavy hitter after heavy hitter to keep the energy as high as possible in order to push PAX into that extra gear. So until I find a suitable replacement, the track listing will be as follows:

“Go” –Pearl Jam
“Get Free” – The Vines
“The Pretender” – Foo Fighters
“Your Time Has Come” – Audioslave
“Heavy” – Collective Soul
“To See Where I Hide” – Silvertide
“Let Me Drown” – Soundgarden
“Shallow Be Thy Game” – Red Hot Chili Peppers
“Are You Gonna Go My Way” – Lenny Kravitz
“In 2 Deep” – Kenny Wayne Shepherd Band
“Take The Power Back” – Rage Against The Machine
“Pushin Forward Back” – Temple Of The Dog
“Make Yourself” – Incubus
“Faint” – Linkin Park
“Why Go” –Pearl Jam

Burpee Gulley will always be one of my favorite BDs of all time due to it’s difficulty, and the mumblechatter/energy it enables. It will remain a staple in the rotation and will likely come back harder than ever. And maybe, just maybe it can inspire some similar beatdowns using different exercises. I’m still waiting for Viper’s Man-Maker version…

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