Backblast: December 3rd, 2025
AO: The Armory – Waterville Library – Waterville, OH
PAX:
Photon – Q (Floyd)
Bourbon (Bubba)
Doubtfire (Delbert)
Echo (Earl)
Geppetto (Jethro)
Guardian (Gator)
Rudy (Rusty)
Vespa (Virgil)
Workout: Just A Bunch Of White Trash
FNG’s: N/A
Mission and Principles:
F3: Fitness, Fellowship, Faith
Mission: To plant, grow and serve small workout groups for men for the invigoration of male community leadership.
The core principles of F3 are that it is always:
1. Free of charge
2. Open to all men
3. Held outdoors, rain or shine, heat or cold
4. Led by men who participate in the workout in a rotating fashion, with no training or certification necessary. You versus you. Modify or stop an exercise if you need to. The most important thing is that nobody gets hurt.
5. Ends with a Circle of Trust
Credo: Leave no man behind but leave no man where you find him
Warm-up: In Cadence
SSH (2 is 1): 27 (as we waited for Rudy to join the circle)
Chainbreakers: 10
Piano Keys: 10
The “Thang”:
This was a Billy Madison additive ladder-style workout where PAX were to complete all 12 grades of “school” to graduate. Each round consisted of 12 reps of an exercise. PAX would perform the exercise and MOT the required distance before moving to the next grade. They would then perform all previous grades exercises before adding the new exercise for the current grade. MOT for this was a rifle carry between the two lampposts in the parking lot. Exercises were as follows:
Grade Exercise
1 Squats
2 LBCs
3 Merkins
4 Man-Makers
5 Cactus Squats
6 BBSUs
7 Hand Release Merkins
8 Thrusters
9 Lt. Dans
10 Absolutions
11 Decline Merkins
12 Burpees
But you know us trashy white folk ain’t never make it through 12th grade cause we way to stoopid. We y’all dropped out of that there forth grade and picked up the habits of our daddy’s, who also happened to be our cousins. And so we did them hillbilly races. This is what us did.
Raced.
Drank.
Fucked.
Washed it all down with a couple smokes.
Sat on our porch doin nothin and waited for everyone who was workin.
Then we repeato-ed until them timers were up. We did dumber and dumber shit each time.
Hillbilly walker race to and from far lamppost.
Colt 45: 1 cycle
Pickle Pounders (2 is 1): 10
Burpees : 10
People’s Chair for the 6
Partnered up and wheel-barrowed to and from far lamppost.
Colt 45: 1 cycle
Pickle Pounders (2 is 1): 20
Burpees : 20
People’s Chair for the 6
Joe Derked (crawl bear with merkin every step) two parking spaces and back.
Colt 45: 1 cycle
Pickle Pounders (2 is 1): 30
Burpees : 30
People’s Chair for the 6
Ain’t no hoedown complete without some dancin’, so cousin Cletus grabbed his fiddle and we Cotton Eye Joe’d until them neighbors called the po-lice on us. They almost got poor Bobbi-Jean and Debby-Sue. Those bastards…
Ended with:
Count-O-Rama: 8
Name-O-Rama
The Six – Echo
LDP3
Ball of Man
Spreadsheets from the Gloom: 10F and salty as a squirrel souffle. Where was uncle Lonzo? Him an Junior woulda loved this. Lots of curls for cousins Wanda and Dottie. And that music beat harder than them firecrackers last week! Baby Billy damn near lost his pooter pants.
“Apple Pie” – White Trash
“Judge-Me-Do” – White Trash
“Take My Soul” – White Trash
“Po’ White Trash” – White Trash
“Backstage Pass” – White Trash
“Lil’ Nancy” – White Trash
“Party Line” – White Trash
“Good God” – White Trash
“Cotton Eye Joe” – Rednex
Was an honor to lead this one. Loads of fun with great company. Hopefully I didn’t offend anyone.
Leave a Reply