The Armory (Waterville Library) – Mike “Photon” Bauer

Backblast: August 7th, 2025

AO: The Armory – Waterville Library – Waterville, OH

PAX:
Photon – Q
Barney
Brickyard
Coconut
Doubtfire
Huckleberry
Manchester
Stalker
Stark
Tackleberry
Tarnished
Twister
Vespa
Yoshi

Workout: Craziest 8s

FNG’s: N/A

Mission and Principles:
F3: Fitness, Fellowship, Faith
Mission: To plant, grow and serve small workout groups for men for the invigoration of male community leadership.
The core principles of F3 are that it is always:
1. Free of charge
2. Open to all men
3. Held outdoors, rain or shine, heat or cold
4. Led by men who participate in the workout in a rotating fashion, with no training or certification necessary. You versus you. Modify or stop an exercise if you need to. The most important thing is that nobody gets hurt.
5. Ends with a Circle of Trust
Credo: Leave no man behind but leave no man where you find him

Warm-up: N/A?

The “Thang”:

There was an eMOM timer set for every 8 seconds. Every time the timer went off, we performed one burpee. We did this for 36:55 and tallied 275 burpees.

Ended with:
Count-O-Rama: 14
Name-O-Rama

The Six – Stalker

LDP3

Ball of Man

Spreadsheets from the Gloom: This beatdown can be summed up in a single sentence; one uttered by Doubtfire within the three minutes of the workout.

“This isn’t the dumbest beatdown ever”.

In the beginning, it certainly did feel dumb. Lackluster, if you will. But it grew on you…as 275 burpees usually does.

At the end of the day, this was a training exercise to understand what pace is achievable for extended periods of time. 7.5 burpees per minute for 37 minutes. And it was definitely doable…probably for an hour. But that will only get you to 450 burpees. In order to hit the 500, one needs to maintain 8.3 burpees per minute, which would require a burpee every 7 seconds. That will probably hit the swamp soon as a test run for the 500 burpees in an hour challenge. This was simply an introductory data point.

Playlist was a bit crazy.

“S.F.C.” – Silvertide
“Virtual Insanity” – Jamiroquai
“Crazy Train” – Ozzy Osbourne
“(You Drive Me) Crazy” – Britney Spears
“Crazy Bitch” – Buckcherry
“Crazy Or High” – Black Label Society
“Let’s Go Crazy” – Prince & The Revolution
“Sane” – Fozzy
“Basket Case” – Green Day

Was it really that crazy? Maybe. Not many PAX would ever subject others to such a repetitive beatdown, let alone one that resulted in 275 burpees. But ultimately everyone got better. This beatdown is a grower, not a shower.