Backblast: July 12th, 2025
AO: The Fortress – Grace Church– Perrysburg, OH
PAX:
Photon – Q
Binford
Carmen Sandiego
Chopstick
Coconut
Gold Star
Tarnished
Ukulele
Workout: Best of Black Swamp 2024 – Thriller
FNG’s: N/A
Mission and Principles:
F3: Fitness, Fellowship, Faith
Mission: To plant, grow and serve small workout groups for men for the invigoration of male community leadership.
The core principles of F3 are that it is always:
1. Free of charge
2. Open to all men
3. Held outdoors, rain or shine, heat or cold
4. Led by men who participate in the workout in a rotating fashion, with no training or certification necessary. You versus you. Modify or stop an exercise if you need to. The most important thing is that nobody gets hurt.
5. Ends with a Circle of Trust
Credo: Leave no man behind but leave no man where you find him
Warm-up: In cadence to music?
Sumo Squats (2 is 1) – 10
Gore Claps (2 is 1) – 10
Split into 2 groups and did a percussive, synchronized warm-up with each of the two groups performing one of the two exercises above in cadence with each other.
The “Thang”:
Ranked one of the top two beatdowns of 2024, this was a repeat of “The Reprise”, which was a longer, better, modified version of the original “Thriller” beatdown from Halloween 2024.
This was a 12-round ladder workout where a new rung was added to the ladder each round, each rung being an exercise out of the plank position. After each round, all PAX ran a four-tier suicide and held Al Gore while waiting for the 6 to finish. For the work portion, the PAX lined up side-by-side about 6 feet apart from one another in two lines drawn off by two sets of cones. This spacing was used to ensure every PAX had enough space to perform the Thriller routine without any collisions. On the Qs count the routine started, with YHC or alternate PAX calling out cadence throughout its entirety. During the last 4-count of each “rung” in the routine, the Q also called out what the next movement/exercise would be in the progression. This continued until the routine was complete for any given round. Run the suicides and repeat until entire routine was built and run in succession. The culmination of this was a 1:30 minute, in cadence routine performed by all PAX, from the plank position, to the backing Thriller track.
Dance exercise were as follows…and yes, they were included to try and mimic the dance moves MJ actually used in the video. Notices that J-Los were replaced with Mountain Climbers for this one given J-Lo’s are more or less a tamer version of Kick Throughs.
Rd. Reps
1.) Forward Bear Crawl Slow/fast: 4/8
2.) T-Cross Hand Release Merkin: 4
3.) Zebra Butt Kick (2 is 1): 4
4.) Kick Through (2 is 1): 4
5.) Plank Skier (2 is 1) 4
6.) Lateral Bear Crawl Right/left: 8/8
7.) Mountain Climbers (4 is 1) 4
8.) Pickle Pounder (2 is 1): 4
9.) Reverse Flying Squirrel 4
10.) Plank Jack Shoulder Tap (2 is 1): 4
11.) Floyd Mayweather Plank Punch (2 is 1): 4
12.) Plank Compass: 16
After the final round, there was an encore. PAX split up into 3 groups. Group 1 started performing sumo squats in cadence, with the stomp occurring on beats 1 and 3. Group 2 came in one measure later, performing gore claps in cadence with Group 1’s sumo squats and hitting their claps on beats 2 and 4. Finally, Group 3 came in and performed the entire extended Thriller routine to the beat of the other 2 groups. No backing track, Black Swamp acapella.
2nd encore was a final run through with the whole group (sans Coconut), to the backing track, for purposes of capturing the 2nd greatest mid-beatdown video in the history of the Black Swamp.
Ended with:
Count-O-Rama: 8
Name-O-Rama
The Six – Ukulele
LDP3
Ball of Man
Spreadsheets from the Gloom: This beatdown absolutely rips, and the video proves it. The men on the south side of the river took this routine and the synchronicity required to perform it to a completely new level; raising the bar to new heights. YHC has probably watched the video 50 times as a result. Poetry in motion. But…the routine can be better. The plank punches don’t provide a whole lot of visual stimulation. We need more movement. More motion. John Travolta’s would probably be more visually appealing as a dance move.
At the end of the day, this was not the same Thriller as in the late fall. That one was cardiovascularly doable from the perspective of calling cadence. This one was not. The humidity and the heat elevated this beatdown from challenging to absolute burner. So much so that the Q needed to delegate counting duties to another PAX in order to maintain order and fluidity during the latter half of the routine. Coconut was up to the challenge and put his musical abilities on display calling cadence (while YHC called out the exercises) from about round 6 on. He even took double duty during the 2nd encore and called both cadence and exercises while filming that masterpiece of a video.
I still think this has even more potential…not necessarily as a beatdown proper, but as a routine…for marketing purposes/fun. I’d like to get a solid group of rhythmic guys together (maybe 10 or so) to master the routine and do an actual performance of it with no cues and no missteps. It could go down in the annals of F3 lore and would certainly shine a light on the region.
As I’ve said before, this beatdown will be back, likely as a hallowed staple. But the approach will also be back. There are currently two installments in the books with another 2 on the horizon. Keep an eye out for them.